Reluctant Russell

I'm getting to know a few people at the park now. They're regulars, I've figured out, taking their walks at the same time that I do in the morning. One of my favorite passersby is a little Jack Russell Terrier. I don't know his name yet, so I'll call him Russell....reluctant Russell. Russell has a very perky disposition. From afar, he looks like an adventure on 4 legs, taking each step with an enthusiastic bounce. But, as Russell approaches me, that all changes. He becomes very skittish and unsure of himself. He's curious to find out what I'm all about..so he steps toward me. The second I move toward him, he gets really nervous. He almost looks as though he's twitching. And if Russell could talk, then I'm sure that he'd be stuttering. Russell is a classic case of canine reluctance. I wonder where Russell's reluctance came from. Insecurity? Maybe carrying around a bad experience? Who knows? Maybe Russell just isn't as brave and adventurous as he looks. Or, maybe he's more bold and brave than he ever imagined, but just never takes the chance - kind of like people.

Our great fear is not that we lack the potential or ability to try new things (like Russell feels). That's what we think holds us back. If truth be told, I think that we fear the deep seated awareness that our potential is so great that we end up scaring ourselves. We get overwhelmed and overcome by the immensity of who we could be, if we allowed the steps to be taken. That sounds kind of conceited, but in reality, we all were born with God-given greatness. We simply need to exercise the faith and courage to step into it. We tend to immediately squelch ambition and desires with doubt, insecurities, excuses, worry, anxiety, disbelief, aversion, avoidance and sheer...reluctance. So, what's required to combat the reluctance? RISK! I'm not talking about life-threatening risks. The kind of risk that I'm talking about is risk of trusting, risk of being transparent and vulnerable, risk of attempting something out of our comfort zones. Risk is "birthed" out of reluctance. I say "birthed" since it involves starting small and slowly developing through prayerful self-examination, trial and error, and most importantly, steps of faith.

Have you ever had a time when you felt nudged to say or do or be something, but then quickly shut the door on the possibilities saying things like, " I could never..." or, "no one would ever..." or, "I don't know how to...." or "I don't have what it takes" Says who? Ok, back to Russell. I saw him a second time on my walk today and this time he paused, got ever so slightly closer, walked away from me, but then turned around to take another look. Russell was thinking about being a little braver. He was stepping out of his comfort zone with those little paws of his. The next time that I get one of those nudges to try something new, or to dream something big (or small), or just to believe that "I can" lead a God-driven adventure for my life, I'm going to think of "Reluctant Russell", who I have faith will one day stop to enjoy our new friendship.

People watching

Ever gone somewhere and just "watched" people? There's a great experience to be had in being a spectator of life. The other day I was on my walk and really took time to look at the people around me. Usually, I walk a pretty fast pace (to get mycirculation going) while saying "hello" to everyone that walks past. I like to be friendly - to acknowledge people by sharing a smile. But the other day was different. I saw a real variety of people and couldn't help but wonder what was going on in their worlds.

I guess that this all many started years back as I experienced a lot of life's difficulties and challenges. The death of my father due to a brain tumor, miscarriages, a premature son, a car accident, depression, several surgeries, the tragic loss of my brother-in-law, the death of my mother, my travels to the slums of Ethiopia. There are more - but that's enough to list for now. Now, I'm not claiming to have suffered hardships more than anyone else, I'm just keenly aware that my pain and circumstances have alerted me to the reality of others' lives. So, when I took that walk that day, I looked at everyone with a very different lens. Every day I'm being intentional about noticing everything that God puts in my path - whether it be on a walk or just through the course of my day.

What about the woman with the limp? She walked slowly, carefully and very sullenly? What burdens was she carrying that day? what about the old man with the dog? Was he a widower? Was he lonely? What about the young pregnant woman pushing a stroller with her toddler in it? Was she coping ok? And then there was the older couple....hand in hand. Their affection for each other was so obvious, such a breath of joy. It made me smile. What about the 2 older women that I see regularly taking their walk? They look like good friends. Ah, the joy of our friends. Even when we can't take a walk with our friends in the park, do we journey well with them through life? I know what you're thinking....that's alot to think about on a walk! I'm not saying that our walks should be like case studies. I just think that it's worth making time to step out of ourselves a little by noticing others. It's a great habit to get into. Just notice and let you heart direct your next steps. Is there a lesson for you in what you see? Does what you see remind you of someone in a certain situation? Hey, maybe its even you!

Love, compassion, understanding, lessons to be learned....there's alot to be gained when you really take a close look around you. Never get so busy or pre-occupied that you don't take the time to be a spectator of life. There's more wisdom there than meets the eye.

Going for a walk

I don't know why, but I've never really seen walking as something that I would overly enjoy. Maybe that stemmed from the fact that I never seemed to have time to take a walk. Or maybe, truth be told, I never made time to take a walk, so that I could fully understand how very essential it was to my health - physically, mentally and spiritually. Perhaps I had this silly notion that taking the time to go for a walk meant that I was indulging with my time. After all, there are plenty of "productive" things that a mom of 4 boys could be doing. When I left work and began putting a plan together to recover from my back injury, I was told time and time again that the best kind of exercise would be taking a walk. As simple as it seemed, I initially found all the reasons in the world not to go. "It's too cold, it's raining, it's too early, it's too late" Finally, one day, as ridiculous as it sounds, I took the big plunge, and went for a walk at our neighborhood Fishtrap Creek.

The air was crisp and invigorating. Every step that I took introduced me to new sights and smells that were hidden from my senses with my busy schedule. I realized that I had become so busy in my life that I had missed out on these very simple pleasures. The more walks that I took, the more I wanted to take. My eyes began to look for more of nature's treasures....birds fluttering their wings on the water, beavers gnawing on trees, squirrels scurrying about foraging for food, leaves tussling in the wind, the sun glaring in my eyes, bathing me with its warmth. I began to realize that nature had wisdom to offer, especially as we observe the quiteness and patience of it all. Nothing in nature rushes along. Creatures do not fret over where their food will come from. Plants dried by the winter's cold always come to life in the spring. In nature, there is no sense of being driven or of worrying about anything. Our lives, on the other hand are another matter. I guess we could learn a thing or two but just putting ourselves in nature more often.

As I continued to take my walks, I also realized how very strange it felt to be alone, with nothing to do but examine my thoughts. It's almost as though my mind wanted to rush out of itself into the busyness that I had left when I walked into the park. I then decided that this discomfort that I was feeling was something that I needed to overcome. How could I possibly feel uncomfortable with peace and quiet? So, I began to take more walks and put myself in those quiet places more often. It was in the quietness, I found, that a wonderful calm and peace began to wash over me, the more I engaged it. I decided to take the time to pray and to ask God where He wanted to direct my thoughts. I can't believe how much I have grown to love my walks and my time alone with God. There is nothing in my mind or heart that I can't put before Him, and there is never a time when He doesn't show up when I call.

I guess that goes back to the saying, "never say never" I never thought that a walk could soothe my soul in the ways that it has. And so, now I look forward to those walks. I don't make excuses for not going, I don't feel guilty for making the time to be good to myself and I always stop to take a glimpse of the sheer beauty of God's incredible creation. Life should never be too busy to go for a walk. Everyone could use of little peace and quiet for the soul. The next step is to take what we learn from those quiet moments at the park...and apply them to living our every day moments, at home.

ONE heart

Today, I read a post on facebook that really caught my eye.
We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.

I don't know who said this, but this truly expresses the beauty of reaching beyond ourselves to others. Life really is not about us. We do occasionally, or even more than occasionally make it out to be the life revolves entirely around what is going on in our small world: our need for security, our comforts, our happiness, our accomplishments, our fears, our disappointments, etc. We can spend spend so much time camped out in self pre-occupation that we forget to step back and glimpse into the life of others.

We can also spend alot of time managing our time. We're pretty good at juggling a countless amount of activities and "must do" events. In the process, we can strip away any possibility of engaging the world around us by being too busy. At times, busyness looks to be an attractive invitation. After all, there are so many good things to do. But, a good friend of mine once told me. "Everything can appear good. But, there are things that are better, and then ultimately BEST. So, we must be careful to weigh what stands before us.....a more balanced life equals more opportunities to notice people and circumstances around us. Remember, good, better, best!

And then there's mind management...the ever present reality of needing to manage our thoughts. Every day we entertain good thoughts and "not so good" thoughts. Comparing ourselves to others, perfectionism, lack of self confidence, contemplating the "should haves" of life. In general, giving too much space to thoughts, attitudes and ideas that keep us unhealthy (fears, worries, etc) can and will cloud our minds entirely. You know how that feels - like your mind is in fog. Or maybe some days, your mind has been in a sheer tornado of discouragement! We can become so absorbed in our unhealthy thoughts that we can (and will) become completely ineffective in noticing or reaching out to others. The ones who pay the price are the ones we love the most, as well as the ones we wish we could have noticed.

And so, this goes back to the quote above. We were given ONE heart so that we can go beyond ourselves. How can we reach out with love, compassion, strength of character, mercy and grace, if we are stuck in our own "stuff". We owe it to ourselves, our families, our friends and the rest of the world to clear our minds, clear our schedules, spend time with God allowing Him to minister deeply to us in the ways that we need to make some changes. Then, and only then, as we examine our minds and our hearts, will we be able to make the BEST use of that ONE heart that He gave us.

Hanging of for "dear,"safe" life?

Life is not always comfortable. As much as we would love it to be that way, it just isn't. The popular world view is that we can take control of our life, and direct it however we choose. But the fact is, that our lives are not directed by our plans. And if we've experienced hardships, we can be particularly tempted to retreat into a variety of emotional disconnects. We can run away from pain and discomforts, we can hide from them, or we can pretend that we've got everything under control...not even feeling a need to take notice of the world around us. That's called complacency and it is the affliction of our current generation. And then, if something comes along to challenges us, that perhaps asks us to reach beyond our comfort zone, it's just so easy for us to say, "That's not for me"...."I'd like to live my life within my own parameters....safely, comfortably, with no pain. Don't ask me to go there." Again, life is not like that. I remember going to Korah, Ethiopia, the leper colony of 130,000 last April. I walked into the world of mind boggling destitution, HIV, TB, leprosy, filth. It was unbelievably overwhelming. And there might have been a part of me that could have chosen to stay "safe" and not even go in, or not to look as closely. Or perhaps, I could have looked closely, but not allowed things to grip my heart. I could have chosen to be a "visitor" and then walk away back into my comfortable world. I could have said, "Boy, that was utterly horrible, but it's just so much bigger than me...there's nothing I can do." We can't walk through life like that. And it doesn't have to be out of the example of walking through an African slum. It can be right in our own family, our own neighborhood, in the midst of our own personal struggles. We can't go through life, just "hanging on for dear life" and not engaging what we see, hear and feel. Even in our struggles, especially in our struggles, is the opportunity to grow, to change, and to see the world through God's eyes. We have the incredible opportunity, as we leap out beyond ourselves, to reach out to others in a very profound way. We will have done it by letting go of ourselves, even in our most difficult situations, and made the decision to take our life, put it out there and make our worlds a better place. Watch this video below. This is exactly how we can live our lives...."hanging on for "dear safe life", behind the disguise of safety and comfort. And if we think that this is truly living, then we have a few things to think about.

A Journey.....

A few years ago, I came to a simple realization. Life is a journey. It took me until I was about 36 to realize that life was not composed of events that led me to a destination. Life was not going to be as I had planned it either. Life was not so much about where I would arrive in life, "my destination", but rather all about what was in my path to get there, "the journey"and how I would see it. And so, along the way, I've grown and changed....alot! Some of the changing I did quite willingly and alot of it I fought every step of the way. But through it all, my adversities became my greatest strengths. I learned to gleen wisdom and discernment. Out of my joys I learned to live life well. Out of my deep pain and sorrows, I learned compassion. Basically, the things that happen in our life shape us and mold us....if we allow them. And once we've realized that we are not the authors of our own stories, that's when the journey really begins.

I believe that life is not a journey that is meant to be travelled alone. We need people, we need eachother. It's not a weakness to need others, it's a strength. Join me as I share in my everyday moments,reflecting also on past steps taken. My hope is that you will be encouraged and inspired to walk the journey well....with eyes and hearts wide open.